Topical Acrostic Sonnets

 Jorge Bergoglio

 Joe Ratzinger's a marvel. He gets ten
 Off me for walking when his sun had set—
 Retiring from his job as pontiff when
 God told him he was past it—though he'd get
 Eleven if the saintly fellow would
 Be called, not Benedict, but Joe the Pope
 Emeritus, and twelve if Joseph could
 Remember his white cassocks are a nope! ...
 Go back to Argentina, or be found
 On Vatican estates, if I step down?
 Good heavens, no! Don't let me hang around,
 Let Jorge hold confessions in the town
 If he retires ... But I'm not going yet—
 Or you'll get some hardliner I'll regret!

 (First published in the New Verse News on
  28th August, 2022. Story here)
 Loop-The-Loopily

 Let me regale you with my dizzy tale
 Of winging it, of flying by the seat
 Of my own pants—kept near a water pail,
 Preventing fire when truth is incomplete.
 Three happy years of cockpit feats mean I
 Have looped the loop on Brexit, barrel-rolled
 Exchequer funds, pulled Gs—that's where you fly
 Low, loop-the-loopily, and may lose hold
 On consciousness—to help me weasel out
 Of treaties that I should have read, and have
 Perfected riding out a tailspin bout
 In Downing Street. But now my broken nav
 Leaves me with no control, usurped by ... who?—
 You know I'd launch them spaceward if I knew!

 (First published in Light on 25th July, 2022 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 Facing The Music

 From having crashed while drunk against a shop,
 A driver opted to take flight, but got
 Chased hard by somebody who wouldn't stop
 In hot pursuit through streets, a garden spot
 Nearby, and farmers' fields, until the chase
 Got interrupted when a fence appeared.
 The fugitive jumped over it, to face
 His fate: A bird to whom he's not endeared
 Expressed the outrage of a threatened mom—
 Malicious pecks in lieu of angry words—
 Until he chose to face the music from
 Some cops instead, as flight was for the birds ...
 If you're intent on dodging justice, then
 Choose not to hide inside an emu pen!

 (First published on 9th August, 2022 in
  Autumn Sky Poetry Daily. Story here)
 Hefty Sum Of Cash

 Humongous wealth lets Bezos have his way
 Except in Rotterdam, where going Dutch
 Fragments the heft of anyone who'd pay
 The bill in full. If you can spare that much,
 You shouldn't flaunt it, lower than the sea,
 Since being only average—good enough—
 Unites the Dutch. Here no man's thought to be
 More suited by his wealth to strut his stuff
 Or build a lavish triple-masted yacht
 Far higher than the Hef's iconic span
 Can fit above, then hustle—since he's got
 A Hefty sum of cash—to let this man
 Sail past a part-dismantled Hef ... Now Jeff
 Has learned his grade for civics—it's an F!

 (First published in Light on 8th August, 2022 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 A Good Head Start

 A good head start won't guarantee your feat
 Gets carried off by feet you're carried on,
 Or clear your head to see why you're dead beat
 One fraction through your ultramarathon.
 Draught Guinness is a potion fit for gods
 High up on Mount Olympus, yet this grand
 Elixir isn't brewed to raise your odds
 At overcoming nausea on your planned
 Day trip from west to east. For that, you need
 Some cereal bars, U2's whole catalog,
 The stranger who shows up to take the lead,
 And being fed bananas while you jog
 Relentlessly—but, once you've crossed the line,
 That second pint of Guinness tastes divine!

 (First published in Light on 15th August, 2022 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 Awareness of Wye

 Along the River Wye, we wonder why
 We see a strange contraption move downstream:
 A statue on canoes is paddled by
 Riparian enthusiasts, who seem
 Encouraged by attention they have won
 Nearby. But why? The Belmont Abbey choir
 Erupts in plainsong when those gents are done,
 Suggesting that their goal is to acquire
 Some faithful ... Yet, it's not to fill the pews:
 Our Lady of the Waters and the Wye
 Floats down a Wye chock-full of chicken poos,
 Which calls for ruffling feathers perched on high.
 You can't raise Wye awareness till you plot
 Events that look quite bonkers but ... are not?

 (First published in Light on 22nd August, 2022 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)



Earlier Topical Acrostic Sonnets

Back to Verse and Word Play

HOME