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Garbh Choire Mor Get ready for the riddles of the Sphinx— A Scottish corrie's where this patch of snow Remained for centuries, though now it shrinks Because of climate change. The riddles go: How many politicians does it take, Conferring, till a light-bulb moment hits? How many more do you then need to make One screw it in—not up? ... "You can't mean it's Infinity, and if it's me you mean," Responded Boris Johnson, "answers are Exactly one and zero—I've gone green! My light-bulb moment means we aren't too far Off target!" ... Did his blast of fresh hot air Reduce the Sphinx so much, now it's not there? (Prompted by this article and first published in Oddball Magazine on November 24, 2021) |
Cash For Honours Cough up ten grand, back in Lloyd George's day, And you'd be "Sir"—'twas fifty grand for "Lord." Shell thirty grand out, and your "Sir" would stay Hereditary for your son's reward ... Fast-forward to the present day: new laws On honours now forbid their sale, and yet Rich donors to the Tory party cause Have confidence three million pounds will net One peerage. Though it sounds a bit like graft, No cop can prove it's not a legal kind Of practice in the politician's craft, UK-style ... So historians will find Reform has failed to change how "Lord" is sold— Save now the price has risen sixtyfold! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on November 22, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
One For The Queen On doctor's orders, gin with French vermouth No longer is a cocktail for the Queen. Elizabeth has faced a sober truth— Forgoing tipples with her day's routine! Old age is not the time to swear off booze: Red wine's a comfort when your hair is grey— Those doctors do seem cruel to refuse Her majesty her snifter once a day! ... Empathic Brits intuit that the Queen's Quotidian Dubonnet must be supped Up for her, if herself she lacks the means ... Explaining why Dubonnet sales have upped Enormously, as thoughtful Brits are seen Now drinking one each day—one for the Queen! (Prompted by this article and first published in the Creativity Webzine on December 28, 2021) |
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Is Everything OK? Is everything OK with you, PM? Should Britons worry you have lost your grip? Embarrassed colleagues doubt your stratagem— "Vroom, vroom, rah, rah" sounds not like statesmanship! Excessively loquacious cocky jaws Refrain from asking for forgiveness, though You did it thrice in 20 seconds' pause— That's why we ask: Can you still run the show? ... Has Peppa Pig been bossing you around, Insisting you promote her southern fief?— Northeasterners, excused for having frowned, Greet your charade with silent disbelief! ... OK, PM? ... Or has your mojo gone Kaput—is that why you just ramble on? (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on November 29, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Bye-Bye, Barbados! Barbados to the monarch: Toodle-oo! You are no longer head of state round here, Elizabeth Regina! We are through— Britannia's rule belongs to yesteryear! Your firms can still invest in our unchained Economy, Your Highness—though we will Be tempted to impound the profits gained As reparations for historic ill! ... Regina to Barbadians: Bye-bye! Be prosperous without a queen—I know A president is hipper than am I! ... Don't follow in Guyana's footsteps though, Or you may later rue that you had been So keen to wish good riddance to your Queen! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on December 6, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
It's Déjà Vu Again It's déjà vu again. The Omicron— That Covid rookie—dumps us all back at Square one. We social-distance, masks full on, Dictated to by rules ... A caveat: Enactments are not uniformly tough— Jabs may not be compulsory. If they Are not, because persuasion's not enough, Vax uptake is too low to save the day ... Unshakeable aversion to the vax And being glad that others got their shots Goes hand in hand with dodging paying tax And taking, all the same, from public pots. It long precedes the age of me and you— No wonder there's a sense of déjà vu! (First published in the New Verse News on December 23, 2021) |