Limericks for 2024
Aitch
A quizmaster's aitch variation
Irked viewers. He promised cessation.
That haitch on TV
Caused this paradox: He
Has aspired to have no aspiration!
(April, 2024; appeared in Light Poems of the Week on the 15th)
Story
here
Fifty weeks were required to let Russ
Rack up mileage of ten thousand plus
From South Africa's tip
To the Med, for a dip ...
Would he not have been quicker by bus?
(April, 2024)
Story
here
On longevity, you can get tips
From the world's oldest fella: He sips
Little booze, is inclined
To be active of mind—
And on Fridays devours fish and chips!
(April, 2024)
Story
here
With the cocoa price under attack,
Chocoholics may have to cut back
On a mid-morning bite,
The dessert late at night
And their regular afternoon snack!
(March, 2024; appeared in the Daily Mail on 9th April)
Story
here
Carlos Alcaraz knows what is what
When he's playing an ace tennis shot.
But he's brought to his knees
When the balls become bees,
Since they're very much harder to swat!
(March, 2024; appeared in the Daily Mail on the 22nd)
Story
here
"My get-well card will throw you a bone,"
Barked a dog to King Charles on his throne,
"Since you'll chuckle to see
How much worse it could be—
You at least are not wearing a cone!"
(February, 2024)
Story
here
Rishi muses: why should I regret
Shaking hands with Piers M on a bet?
A mere handshake is not
Saying yes on the spot—
I meant only, hail fellow, well met!
(February, 2024; appeared in the Daily Mail on the 9th)
Story
here
When triumph in Melbourne is Sinner's,
And India lose to our spinners,
While Maidstone are bound
For another Cup round,
It's a weekend for underdog winners!
(January, 2024; appeared in the Daily Mail on the 31st)
The gait of a penguin is mainly
Absurdly and plainly ungainly.
But if, when it's icy,
Your balance is dicey,
It saves you from hurting insanely!
(January, 2024; appeared in the Daily Mail on the 24th)
Story
here
Idler
Is Custard unwell? No, the crazy
Dude's merely incredibly lazy—
Laid dead in his spot
Even though he is not
Ready yet to help push up a daisy!
(January, 2024; appeared in Oddball Magazine on the 22nd)
Story
here
© 2024
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