Topical Acrostic Sonnets

 Economic Growth

 Exchequer mandarins, in need of cash,
 Collude with pubs to raise it from more sales
 Of alcohol at night-time, when a bash
 Need never more break up too soon in Wales
 Or England. Longer opening hours mean both
 More opportunity to be pie-eyed
 In public and more "economic growth"—
 Consumption with taxation on the side.
 Great Britain's not for temperance if booze
 Revives its fortunes: Rachel Reeves's vows
 Of no new taxes mean tax revenues
 Will have to come instead from old cash cows:
 The more you drink, the more taxation will
 Have drained your wallet, paying Reeves's bill!

 (First published in Light on 13th October, 2025 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 Weighty Matters

 When sumo comes to London's Albert Hall,
 Enormity recalibrates all norms
 In weighty matters: toilets on the wall
 Get reinforced, big chairs are bought, and dorms
 Have stronger beds for crucial post-lunch naps—
 These beds must take the strain of quite a hulk,
 Yet manage for three hours to not collapse.
 Men apt to find their monolithic bulk
 Abruptly thrust upon close ringside seats
 To squash their biggest fans, inflate the charge
 That guarantees insurance cover meets
 Expenses from their surgeons' ultra-large
 Repairs. But every ticket has been sold—
 So sumo wrestling's worth its weight in gold!

 (First published in Light on 20th October, 2025 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)



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