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Economic Growth Exchequer mandarins, in need of cash, Collude with pubs to raise it from more sales Of alcohol at night-time, when a bash Need never more break up too soon in Wales Or England. Longer opening hours mean both More opportunity to be pie-eyed In public and more "economic growth"— Consumption with taxation on the side. Great Britain's not for temperance if booze Revives its fortunes: Rachel Reeves's vows Of no new taxes mean tax revenues Will have to come instead from old cash cows: The more you drink, the more taxation will Have drained your wallet, paying Reeves's bill! (First published in Light on 13th October, 2025 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |
Weighty Matters When sumo comes to London's Albert Hall, Enormity recalibrates all norms In weighty matters: toilets on the wall Get reinforced, big chairs are bought, and dorms Have stronger beds for crucial post-lunch naps— These beds must take the strain of quite a hulk, Yet manage for three hours to not collapse. Men apt to find their monolithic bulk Abruptly thrust upon close ringside seats To squash their biggest fans, inflate the charge That guarantees insurance cover meets Expenses from their surgeons' ultra-large Repairs. But every ticket has been sold— So sumo wrestling's worth its weight in gold! (First published in Light on 20th October, 2025 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |
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