The New Cull Aces
With no disrespect to Emma Lazarus
The new cull aces here at Aalborg Zoo
Have noticed you no longer love your pet.
Eurasian lynxes do: they love to chew.
North Denmark's zoo, aware your pets will get
Expensive to keep fed as they mature,
Will gently euthanize the ones we need,
Conserving nature's food chain. Give us your
Uncuddled masses yearning to be feed:
Lynx fodder can be rabbits, guinea pig-
Lets, chickens, or a horseyou needn't keep
A pony when its food bill grows too big.
Cull aces put your credit woes to sleep,
Enriching menus with unwanted pets.
Send us your wretched refuse. Clear your debts!
(First published on 1st September, 2025 in Oddball Magazine. Story here and here)
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